literature

Submission to Letters from an OC Contest

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Literature Text

Dear writer:

Seriously, what's your problem? Does my life really have to be this tragic? And I mean, I know you have the best intentions and all, and you're just trying to create good entertainment, but stop cock-blocking me! I don't mind saving the day and getting the girl, but when you have all the friends around me dropping like flies… It just stops being fun anymore.

Writer, I don't mean to piss you off. In fact, I rather like my life so far. You've done a good job. But sometimes I wonder if I'm the best character I could have been. Maybe I would have been better suited to a different story or a different world. Hey, you could put me in the future! I'd love to see a reality with jetpacks. Well, no, you created me so I know what you're thinking. You're thinking Arnold, the future will be ruled by Jersey Shore. We're going away from intelligence and toward idiocracy.

Writer, why do you do this? I mean, isn't it time-consuming? Do you get praise or recognition? Do people pay you? Was this always what you wanted to do or did you settle because you weren't good enough at what you really wanted? Writer, how many times has this story passed through your head with different endings? Writer… Are you happy with me? Or do you have regrets?

I'm sorry. I know it's hard putting up with me and that asshole you have as my supporting character. But at least you have some nice conflict and I'm sure this lets out a bit of aggression, if not as much as exercise would.

I'm getting off track here. I don't know why you always do the things you do… And sometimes I really hate your guts. But I have to thank you for everything you've done for me. You've given me life and always tried your hardest, even if you didn't always make the best decisions. I'm glad you came up with me – I don't think I'd be the same if anybody else did.

So… Thank you. And please, please, please don't kill me off when this is over.

Sincerely,
Arnold, your protagonist
For the Letters from an OC contest.

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